Be Thankful?

I have been complaining and complaining about not getting what I wanted, and for being so unlucky.....
I have always wondered why am I always given the things which I didn't expect and didn't want in life.
People have been saying that I'm so not thankful for the things I have. Which is true, to a certain extent...
But do this people realise what effects these decisions not made by me have on my life?
Are they the ones who pay the price? Are they the ones who would live my life?
They say everything would turn out well, but DO they know? No.
I think I still have the right to complain then.
But often, I'm reminded of the truly unfortunate like the beggar on the streets, the kids in orphanages, the people who eat off the dustbin.
I'm truly grateful for the things I have, but we can't alwiz be comparing with people who have such ill fate.
What if one day, we truly turn out to be just one of them?
Do we then get to complain about our life?
Do we then get recognised as people who are unlucky?
God has plans for us I know...
But what if there's no god...and the decision was a random one?
I for one do not live by fate.
So I never really buy the whole 'that it is our fate, learn to accept it.'
Bacause I know, if I learn to accept the fate, I will never go far, I'll never be the best that I can be. I wouldn't learn to fight and more importantly, I wouldn't know the meaning of life.
I know people who have been very 'Que Sera sera, what ever will be will be' towards my situation, I wonder if they were in my shoe would they be?
And if they really are, is that what they really feel?
Not a pinch of anger, hatred, or even dissatisfaction?
If you are congrats! You are beyond human.
I never believed in hiding any feelings and most often I am critisised for being so.
It's most often not the things that people wish to hear.
Most probably because these people do not care.
I guess that's all I could vent for now.
Like to know where you stand on this.
Till next time.. ( I hope it wouldn't be few more months )
Wish me luck in the whole ' You'll be alright! Journey of life'!!!

My debut as a Blogger....

Inspired by a close friend who is also an avid blogger, I decided to try my luck in blogging. All 'first's are special, the first time I walked, the first time I tackled a girl ( and failed miserably! ), my first kiss, the first time I fell in love, and this also include the first time I have sex in the future, I would want it to be special and perfect. For now, I'll settle for a special FIRST blog.

So, I guess blogging my first blog on my FIRSTs makes sense.

I enjoy trying new stuff becoz I believe that we only live once. If we don't try out new things, we will never know what we miss out in life. Firsts are the most influencial things in our lifes. See how!So, this is my confessions on my firsts...(drumrolls)....here goes!

My first best friend would definitely be Gary. Not that I didn't have any best friends before him....but I guess, the title of 'Best Friend' can only be awarded to a person who is emotionally close to us, a person who you trust and a person who has done a great deal of sacrifices for you. He is a very prized possesion of mine, and I'm proud to have him being a part of my life. He has taugt me how to be a better person. Since we parted ways in high school, I faced multiple let downs becoz I couldn't find a person who clicks perfectly with me, who shares the same values in life as me, and also someone who I can place my total trust on. Studying in Sunway College has been just a small highlight in my life, but I feel blessed for having a group of friends who has always been there for me. But I don't think I deserve them, I havent been the nicest type of guy in college. I have been joining too many gangs in my so called identity searching journey. And when I've been turned down by all other groups, I returned to them, and they accepted me with open arms. I feel blessed. If there's one thing I've learnt in SYUC, it is extremely difficult for us to find friends who really cares, and when we do, we must keep a strong grip on these friends, becoz they are going to be the people that will remind you of the special moments in your life. And my first best friend Gary did just that! He reminds me of the moments I shared with him in high school. Thanks Bro! All the best!

My first girlfriend..Y...is a girl who I will always adore. She has been the most patient girl I've known. I've been a jerk when I was with her. Being in a relationship with her thought me that being in a relationship is not just about being together nominally. Its more about sharing time, respecting each other. I have never considered her needs as a girlfriend. I've been selfish and ignorant. I guess thats why people say puppy love is not a good idea. Hopefully she would end up with a guy who truly cares for her and loves her unconditionally. What I owe her is beyond what I can do to redeem myself, so if you need me anytime for anything, don't hesitate. It just maybe one of the greatest mistakes I've done in my life. I guess karma is now getting back at me, my relationships after that didn't work out well. Lesson learned.

First costume party: Sunway PSD was a disaster for me, but I guess I set a benchmark for costume party goers in the future. As all PSD students 05/06 can recall I wore a singlet and catch a load of this a boxer! to a formal costume party. For 3 seconds, everyone was quiet and I swear I could hear crickets in the background. While Mal & Nianz wore matching bunny rabbit suits, and Ravind and Ishwin winning their 'best costume' titles, I sat there in sore and waiting to get back. Darn! God bless Ms Ruma and the other lecturers who tried to contain their laughter and funny faces. Sorry for putting all of you through this. Looking back, it was my craziest moment! And proudly, it shall be followed by greater wacky stunts. Look out!

Here are my other FIRSTs:
First Music Video: Britney Spears (Lucky) which decided my favourite music genre POP!
First Adult movie: Paris Hilton video ( thanks roomie! )
First Trip: Perth ( Now I'm sent to Aussie to study, its not a coincidence! )
First performance on stage: Story-telling ( I became the most talkative person 1 can meet ) tonned down a lot tho in recent years.
First homework: Math by Mommy (didn't turn out a math whiz tho but i'll be doing math 4 life!)
First Teenage movie : Mean Girls ( I'm in love with Lindsay. Lindsay, marry me! )

Tell me about your first! What is the firsts that you had that you couldn't ever forget?